A New Love

I was recently introduced to the AMAZING music and comedy of Tim Minchin. He is hilarious, insightful, irreverent and just absolutely, astoundingly, articulate. I can't get enough of him or his stuff. His song "White Wine In The Sun" is the best anti-Christmas/ Christmas song. Ever. Really. His ideas and his voice, his crazy hair and eye make-up and his general presence in and perception of the world remind me so much of my brother, Ray, that I am seriously becoming obsessed (in a non-stalker and totally healthy fan-girl kind of way!)
If you've not listened or experienced him, please do. He is incredible!

Enough

It's not that I don't have anything to say. But sometimes, I say something here and then don't know how to follow it. I posted last on the anniversary of my brother's death about my frustration and anger over the grieving process, and how long and protracted it can be. And then I didn't know what else to say. I've posted other blogs in other places (namely Facebook) but haven't brought them here because they seemed so disjointed with the mood I set with that post. And for some reason, it never occurred to me before now that there doesn't have to be continuity of theme and mood here any more than there does in my head. So I've had enough of splitting my posts and leaving the self loathing and painful posts hanging for months on end. I'm going to move my other posts here. So there'll be a bit of back dating and an influx of posts. Not a ton, but some, and then I'll try to get my head on straight and post here more often than not. For the whole three of you who pay occasional attention. :)

Tinseled TILT

It's been three weeks since I last TILTed. The end of the semester sucked the life out of me for a bit there. So today's TILT will include pieces from weeks past. It's a mixed bag on this Christmas Eve. :)

I love the excitement running through the boys' veins. Their energy and absolute adoration for this time of year is palpable. It's so much fun to watch and an honor to be a part of.

I love that my kids get to celebrate both Hannukah and Christmas. They win the holiday jackpot! I love that neither is JUST about presents for them or for us, that who they see is just as important and awesome for them as what they see in that box or under the tree.

I love my students. I've said it before, but really, they are awesome human beings. Many of my kids are away from their parents. They are living here with other relatives or friends. I love that when one of them has a birthday, the others pitch in and throw that kid a party during lunch. Someone comes late or leaves early to get a cake, they gather in my room, and they celebrate with and for each other. None of them ask for it. None of them expect it. But they all participate. It's an incredible and amazing thing to watch. It nearly brings me to tears every time they do it. It's such a little thing, but to the kids who otherwise wouldn't have a party or be celebrated or even acknowledged, it means the world.

I love the cold, sharp winter air. I don't so much love the itchy skin, but I can't get enough of the cold air into my lungs when I'm outside. It's my own little version of crack. :)

I love snow! It snowed! At my house! That hasn't happened in 30 years! It was barely enough to notice, but enough to paint the grass white for a few hours and cause my kids to lose their shit. It was awesome. I want more!

I love the lights and decorations, the music and the sounds of this season. I'm not always in the mood for it, but when I see my kids' faces light up over a song on the radio or movie on tv, it changes pretty quickly.

I love that Bette Midler found a way to Jew up classic Christmas carols. Her album "Cool Yule" has been on heavy rotation for a week now. :)

I love my trashy chili pepper lights on the outside of my house and on my mantle. I love the blue beast of a tree in my living room.

I love baking. I love the way the house smells when something's in the oven. I love the way the boys pop in and out of the kitchen while it's cooling on the rack, begging for a taste or just a little piece. I love having something sweet to share with friends when the mess is made and the baking's all done.

I love clarity.

I love Chinese food and movies when the rest of the world is running like mad to be somewhere else.

I love surprises (of the non-explosive variety) in my mailbox! I don't know why, but I am always surprised when I open the box and find a card or letter in there addressed to me. It makes my day and leaves me feeling all warm, tingly, and loved. :)

I love the quiet. It doesn't happen often, but as I type, my house is blissfully silent. The boys are sleeping. The Ninja is otherwise occupied, and I'm alone with my laptop and my thoughts. Heaven.

I love my people. My life would not be the wonderland it is without your contributions to it. You keep me sane and make me crazy all at the same time, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you. I am thankful for you. And I hope you know that all year long.

Whether or not you're celebrating in the morning, I hope your day is an awesome one full of the things and people you love most.

Peace out, homies,
L

TILTing on the Tiltiest Day of Them All

Turkey edition:

This week, I am loving my immune system and my general good health. Being so sick last week, I realized that I take my health and strength for granted. I plan to change that. I need to change that.

I love my children. I love that my children are healthy and happy and well-adjusted.

I love my husband. I love that he loves me, dimples, wrinkles, grays, attitude and all.

I love my family.

I love that we have the luxury of too much food, Wii battles, and a day full of silliness with friends and loved ones today.

I love the people willing to sacrifice to afford us the luxury of a silly day and too much food. Deployed, stationed abroad, or home-side, thank you for your service and sacrifice.

I love peanut butter! I love that Sheryl sent me the MOST amazing peanut butter all the way from New York. I love Sheryl! Freaking. Amazing.

I love baking. I love getting my hands sticky, peeling apples with a paring knife, shooing the boys out of the kitchen, watching their faces light up and their excitement build as the smells of baking pies and breads waft through the house. I love having something delicious to show for the mess and the work.

I love making Thanksgiving dinner for my family. It's been a few years since I have because we've been pulled in various directions, but I love it. I love planning the menu, shopping for the ingredients, prepping, trying new recipes, and feeding the ones I love. It's messy and exhausting, but there's no other feeling like it. Next year.

I love humor. I love people who 'get' my humor and are hilarious in their own right.

I love people who are passionate and intelligent.

I love Ancient Angry Annie. Her total geriatric flame out at the grocery store yesterday made me laugh, made me squirm, but mostly gave me something to shoot for when I'm older than dirt. :)

And as always, I loooooooove my people. I am so very thankful for your presence and participation in my life. If I haven't said it before, let me say it now, I would not be here without you. My life would not be the rich and varied playground it is without you. Thank you.

I love that I have so much and so many to love and be thankful for today and every day. I also love that I can see how really very lucky I am.

What are you loving today?

Peace out, homies,

L

TILTing on the Edge of Insanity

This week's edition of TILT is brought to you by the flu.

I love 7-up and Orange juice, otherwise known as the elixir of life.

I love hot showers on an achy body.

I love that Ninja has come home from work early every day since I got sick to take care of the boys and cancelled his trip up north so he could be here to take care of them and me.

I love that my boys are relatively easily entertained, and go out of their way to keep busy when they know I'm sick and can't play with them.

I love that Victor called himself my 6 year old babysitter, ordered me to lay on the couch and cover up in a blanket, and kept touching my forehead to check my temperature on Tuesday when I first got sick.

I love that Oscar has kept touching my forehead and telling me "yous on fiyah mama, still sick. your head burned me!" every time he does.

I love that I have a job that allows me to take sick leave. I've taken three days off with this ick. That's more time than I've ever taken for anything other than death or maternity leave. I love that I was able to take these days off rather than having to struggle through and spread this crud around.

I love my immune system. Slowly but surely it's fighting off this virus. I'm not better, but I will be. I can feel it happening little by little.

I love soup.

I love my couch.

I love the big, thick, Mexican blanket that has been my cocoon for the last three days.

I love that I can whine about being sick on here and rather than telling me to suck it up, my friends and family ask how they can help.

I love my people.


And now I'm going to slink off and pass out on my couch again.

What are you loving today my lovelies?

Peace out, homies,
L

TILT-ilation on a Friday morning

I fell asleep again, and failed to TILT. Boo. But I fell asleep with an icky feeling midget snuggled up on my lap, so I think I get a pass.

Anyway, onto the love.

This week, I have SO much to love.

I love my birthday. It's Veteran's Day. I love that on my birthday, we stop and say thank you to those that make the freedoms and comforts we enjoy possible.

I love Ninja. He tries every year to make my birthday special and wonderful, and usually succeeds. It's not about the gifts or the stuff, but that he cares enough to try. Although I love that he bought me a Wii Fit, even though the last thing we needed was another game system. It was a completely unnecessary and frivolous purchase, which is exactly contrary to his nature, but he did it for me. And I love it. :)

I love my boys. They were more excited about my birthday than I was. Hearing them giggle and squirm in anticipation while I fruitlessly tried to sleep in was the best present ever. The hugs and kisses and 'you're beautiful's I got all day long were even better.

I love that Oscar has started singing Moto Moto's song from Madagascar 2 "I like 'em big, I like 'em CHUNKY!" It's hilarious!

I love unexpected visits from my mom. She drove all the way down here to see me on my birthday, and it was awesome.

I love my sister. She was sick but still got out of bed to bring me flowers and donuts at school. She even tortured my students by making them sing happy birthday to me before they could have a donut. She is awesome!

I love that Chaska is going to be a mama. That is one of the luckiest fetuses ever! Grow baby, grow!

I love having people. All day long my FB page and my phone were on fire with people telling me happy birthday and that they loved me. I have people! People who love me and aren't obligated by DNA to say so! It's a relatively new thing for me, to have so many people I call friend. It's a kind of security I have not enjoyed before. Thank you, friends!

I love that my favorite student finally got the glasses she needed. She can see now! And she loves her glasses. I caught her staring at people's faces yesterday as if it was the first time she'd seen them, just analyzing the detail and taking it all in. She was so cute walking into the room wearing them yesterday. She pointed to my glasses and then to hers and gave me a thumbs up. I freakin' love that kid!

I love saying thank you. It makes me feel good to acknowledge what others have done for me.

I love mashed potatoes.

I love mint.

I love the smell of chicken baking in my oven.

I love the sound of my boys playing, even when they're torturing each other.

I love my Ipod and all the delicious music it holds.

I love my phone. It keeps me connected no matter where I go.

And I love the absolutely wrong in the head women who keep me going and crack my shit up every single day. Thank you ladies. You know who you are.

And I also love the Assholympics, bringing a 'hole' new meaning to competition. Watch out for gravel, that shit snags!

What are you loving this week, my lovelies?

Peace out, homies,

L

TILTing a little late

I fell asleep before I could TILT last night, so I'm posting a little late. Sorry!
For anyone new to the world of TILT, it's a weekly posting of things I love. Tee, the fabulous Tee, started it a while back, and many of us have followed suit in sending out a little love and admiration into the Universe.

So here are the things I'm loving this week:

I LOVE THAT THE YANKEES ARE WORLD CHAMPIONS ONCE AGAIN!!!!!! Ahem, I mean, go Yankees! Woot!

I love playing games with the boys. Oscar has learned how to throw a ball, and Vic is learning how to use the computer. Watching them blossom while figuring out the intricacies of games, watching their minds work and their faces light up when they finally figure something out is absolutely and amazingly the best sight ever.

I love that Ninja is feeling better. He was really sick last weekend, and I was worried it would become something more, but he's on the mend and getting back to himself. It's pretty awesome.

I love Dia de los Muertos. The tradition, the ofrendas, the thinking and believing that goes into it. It's beautiful and wonderful and a little heartbreaking, but I love it more every year.

I love that it's pumpkin pie and egg nog season!

I love intelligent conversation, logic, respectful and mature discourse. I love people who know how to have that discourse and walk away still friends even if the conversation is heated.

I love my mother. I often don't understand her. I more often don't know how to talk to her. But I love her nonetheless.

Musically, I love Melody Gardot! I heard her on NPR the other day and can't stop listening to her. I love that she found music while recovering from a traumatic head injury, and then it became her life. She's amazing and so is her voice.
http://www.amazon.com/My-One-And-Only-Thrill/dp/B0027J4SKA/ref=pd_sim_dmusic_1

I love my friends, near and far. Y'all are insane, as Auntie Sugarbush says, not right in the head, but you are loving, amazing, wonderful human beings who enrich my life in more ways that I can list. Thank you.

What are you loving this week, my lovelies?

Peace out, homies,
L