Taggety Tag, Tag, Tag

Amy Lane tagged me this mornin'. I am to tell you 8 random facts about myself and then tag others to do the same. I don't believe there are enough people who read my drivel to tag, so if you happen upon this and feel so inclined, consider yourself tagged by moi.
1. I'm bendy. Even when I'm fat, I can put my hands flat on the ground and put my feet on top of them.
2. I wanted to be a doctor when I was a kid. It's the only thing I ever really thought about being until second semester of my 7th grade year. Mr. Tenbrook changed all that by telling me I was too stupid to be a doctor and if I did, I'd end up killing someone. No medical career for me.
3. I have a head full of useless and random knowledge and sometimes it seeps out of my mouth before I even know that I know it. It happens in my classes all the time. For example: Flamingoes are pink because of the iodine in the shrimp they eat.
4. I am the go to girl for all things inappropriate at work. If a kid has a question that should not be asked, they will ask me. Gynecological advice? Ask Ms. C. Parent issues? Ask Ms. C. Birth control? Ask Ms. C. Bodily functions not functioning? Ask Ms. C. It is bizarre.
5. I am right handed but there are some things I cannot do with my right hand.
6. I love to cook but don't enjoy eating most of the things I cook. You'd think this would be an excellent weightloss plan, since I'm the only cook in the house, but no. Oreos are not cooked by me and thusly, are delicious.
7. I haven't eaten any red meat or pork for 17 years. I was a vegetarian for 11 or so years, but my kidneys revolted and now I eat chicken and turkey.
8. I am afraid of ants. Not much else scares me or freaks me out, but ants will send me running and screaming like a tard as soon as I see them. I hate them and wish I could obliterate them.
So there you go. A little bit of an insight into the freak that is me.

It's been far too long

So it's been a while since I've posted anything. Spring break ended and I went back to work and got sucked back into the miasma that is a teacher's life. No time for social stuff. So anyway, here's a brief rundown of what's gone on since my last post:
-Our house got egged on Easter night. We caught the little fucker. I say we, but I mean my husband, who, due to his detainment of said fucker, has earned himself the name Mr. Ninja amongst my friends. He chased the kid down, screaming "your mine motherfucker!" and pinned him down using his super secret agent ninja skills to detain him until the police arrived. Fun!
-I cut and colored my hair. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the Lady in Red once again has red in her hair.
-We attended a Shabbat dinner at a Hassidic Rabbi's house. I met his wife in my OB's office while I was pregnant. She saw my Hebrew tattoo and followed me out. That was in September or October and she's been inviting us over since then. Until recently, we always had something else going on. When she called in April, we were free, so we went. It was awesome. There was a lot of singing and praying, which are usually not my thing, but it was beautiful. The food was really good and the company was really nice. It was nice to get a glimpse of my heritage. It kind of made me sad in a way, too. I feel like I missed out on a whole life, a whole culture I could have known if I hadn't had defective relatives. Eh. Whatever. I'm just glad we got to go.
-The little fucker from above, the one who egged our house, we're pretty sure he and his little fucktard friends slashed Mr. Ninja's tires two weeks ago. We can't prove it, but we KNOW it was them. Asshats.
-Work has been tumultuous at best. We are finally done with testing, and now onto the downhill slide toward the end of the year. I have enjoyed the kids I've had this year. They are overall the kindest, most respectful, well behaved bunch of kids I've had the pleasure of teaching, but I'm so done with them. They can move on to someone else now. Please.
-The midgets are growing exponentially. Oscar had a visit to a cardiologist to rule out any heart conditions and deformities. He is perfectly healthy. Thank Pete.
I do believe that's it folks. If I think of anything else, I'll add it later.
I hope y'all have a great Mother's Day.