Thursday, January 14, 2010

TILTing on Top of The World

There is a raging party in my sinuses right now, so this week's TILT is going to be short and sweet.

I love that new and exciting things are on the horizon for Ninja. I wish he was as confidant in himself and his abilities as I am.

I love the sound of my boys playing and chasing each other in the living room while I make dinner in the kitchen.

I love that Oscar is so excited by being able to do new, but simple, things.

I love that Victor makes a point to ask at least one good question every day at school so he can tell me all about his question and the answers he found when he gets home.

I love that this weekend Oscar will finally get his birthday party, roller skatin,g friends, cake and all.

I love that we are fortunate enough in this life, in these times, to be able to give him that party and these memories.

I love putting the boys to bed at night. I love that they fight over who gets to read with Ninja and who gets to cuddle with me. I'm not looking forward to the days ahead when they don't need or want that quiet time with us any more.

I love being back at work after a long vacation.

I love validation.

I love Vlad and Sergey and every other student who has landed in my classroom for how hard they work and all that they accomplish.

I love that I get to be a part of that work, and a witness to their successes.

I love they have so many successes to share and celebrate, and that they remember to come celebrate them with me.

I love that I get to do something every day that matters so much. I GET to do it. And I know how fortunate I am in that.

I love my mentor in my grad program. She's funny. She's smart. She's a smart ass like me. And she's a realist. I love her for her cool and collected demeanor, her sharp wit, and her absolute refusal to be anything less than direct and honest with me but in the nicest way possible. I love that she gets me and my inane/insane ramblings and pointless rebellions. She rocks and again I know how fortunate I am to have her.

I love that I have the opportunity to earn this masters degree to further my work with these kids.

I love that my favorite student got to choose her classes for next year, and she tried to sign up for my classes twice to fill her day. :) I had to change it to make room for classes she needs, but again, I love validation.

I love efficiency.

I love going to the gym, being sore, and feeling like I've done something for myself at the end of the day without ripping off the people who depend on me.

I love that I've finally allowed myself to be a priority in my own life on occasion without feeling guilty.

I love Biggest Loser for inspiring me to do so.

I love my people and the fun, wisdom, and stability they add to my life.

I love that Kim and her family are on the road to better.

I love that Teri is too.

I love that Millie had an awesome birthday, and that she got to go to Vegas.

I love seeing everyone's childhood pictures. Some look so different and some so much the same. I love that we are willing and able to share a piece of our younger selves with each other.

I love that I apparently have no concept of what the word short actually means judging by the length of this TILT. :)

What are you loving this week my lovelies? I hope it's lots.


Peace out, homies,

L

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Tot-sized TILT

Tomorrow is Oscar's 3rd birthday, so today's TILT is all about Os!

3 years ago on this day, at this time, my contractions had just begun. I was excited and nervous, feeling like everything was different and yet the same as when I went through it with Victor. I had a million thoughts running through my head, but none of them prepared me for the wondrous little boy that greeted me at the end of my labor. I love that he has been a surprise a minute since the second he was born.

I love Oscar's energy. It's exhausting, sometimes frustrating, but absolutely amazing and entertaining to be around.

I love Oscar's perspective. He sees things in such a funny and creative way sometimes, and has begun to be very descriptive.

I love Oscar's language. He says the funniest things, even to the point of cracking himself and everyone around him up.

I love the way Oscar says his brother's name-Wictah-and always at the top of his lungs!

I love that Oscar loves his brother more than anyone else, more than his toys or movies, more than his friends.

I love that even though they are three years apart, Wictah and Os are the best of friends (most of the time).

I love Oscar's facial expressions. He is a clown. He is adorable. And he knows it. You can always tell when he's up to no good. His sly little grin and furrowed brows give him away every time. He has such an expressive face for such a little guy.

I love that Oscar is, unabashedly and unapologetically, his own person. His personality is strong and unique. I know, without a doubt or reservation, that I will never have to worry about him losing himself to someone else's ideas. That boy has known he was the boss since he took his first breath.

I love that where other kids his age are timid, shy, and afraid of the world, Oscar is bold, brave, and confident in his position on this rock.

I love, that in the quiet moments, when it's just Oscar and I, I can see the man he will become, and I am already proud of him.

I love, that even though he is a monster much of the time, Oscar is still my baby, my little boy, looking to cuddle in the middle of the night, when he's feeling tired, or just feeling like some quiet time.

I love that I am his safe place, his soft place to land, his comfort.

Mostly, I love my Oscar.




These guns should be illegal.
Dance of the Sugar Plum Oscar

All he wants for Christmas is his neck!


Happy birthday, my littlest love! Thank you for three of the most fun filled and exciting years I've ever known. You never cease to amaze or entertain. :)

All my love,
Mama

Friday, January 1, 2010

A word of caution

To the ASSHATS in room 301:

Being a parent, I understand that children are often inconvenient. I totally get that they can delay or derail your plans, and it can be annoying. But you made them. So deal with it. And when I say deal with it, I don't mean wait until your 3 year old falls asleep and then sneak out of your hotel room, leaving her alone and unattended for who knows how long so you can go do whatever it is that is more important than caring for the child you created.

You are lucky. You are more than lucky. You are absofuckinglutely fortunate that it was me who found your daughter screaming in the hall, and not some predator. She was alone, nearly naked, half asleep, and scared out of her mind, wandering the halls looking for you, screaming for you, crying into every doorway she stumbled into begging for her mommy and daddy to come out and take her back to bed. Do you realize that the town your hotel was in is in the top three for percentages of sexual predators and Megan's Law listees in the state? Have you read the paper or watched the news recently? Do you understand how quickly your whole world, and hers, could have changed because you wanted breakfast and she wasn't up yet? Do you care?

I sat with her, in my pajamas, not fully awake myself, for ten minutes while another guest at the hotel went looking for you. The hotel staff combed the entire floor of the hotel and the dining areas, calling your names, asking for the parents of ****** to come to the desk or return to your room, and you were nowhere to be found. After 15 minutes, you wandered up, coffee from the coffee shop down the street in hand and paper under your arm as if nothing had happened and all was well with the world. Meanwhile, your daughter was sobbing hysterically into my shoulder, convinced you had abandoned her, and the hotel manager was contemplating calling CPS. When you reached for her, she leaned into me and away from you. I can't say that I blame her.

And when you laughed about the situation, I could have punched you in the mouth. Really. You're very lucky I wasn't fully awake.
If your coffee is more important than your daughter, you've no business being a parent.
Next time, I won't be there and your daughter may not be so fortunate.
Get your shit together.

Sincerely,

The Bitch down the hall