Dear Ramon,

We weren't expecting that phone call. I don't think any of us thought you were capable of dying. I know I didn't. I'm sorry. I'm sorry we didn't visit more. I'm sorry the boys didn't get to know you the way they should have. I'm sorry I didn't insist that we spend more time with you.
We didn't always get along. We couldn't always be in the same room at the same time, but I hope you knew that I know how important you were, and still are, to John. You were the single most positive and influential person in John's life. You taught him how to be a man when no one else would. You were the one person I knew he would talk to, even when he wouldn't talk to me. You were more of a brother to him than his own brother has ever been. You gave him a chance, and a job, when no one else was willing. You helped him find his way, and led him to me. I never thanked you. I took it for granted that I'd have the time to tell you exactly what you meant to him, to us. I was stupid. And I'm sorry.
I hope you didn't suffer. I know you weren't ready. You said so. We weren't ready either.
You were loved, jefe. You still are.
L

Dear Oscar,

Two years ago today, you came flying into the world, surprising everyone with your strength,assertiveness, and absolute male-ness.

It doesn't seem possible that you are two years old already. You have been the light and laughter in our lives since the day you were born.
It seems ridiculous that there was ever a time without you.
You are learning to talk more and more each day. The words you use, the phrases you create, fascinate and amaze me. You are so very expressive. I love the way you have figured out how to show what you cannot say. Your hands are never still, and your mind is never quiet. Your little dances and playful songs make me giggle, and remind me how very lucky I am to get to spend this time with you.
I forget sometimes that you are only just two. Your soul is much older. Your eyes are so much deeper. They always have been. It's easy to get lost in them, to forget all the growing and learning you still have to do.
I look forward to what each day brings you, what each day brings us through you. You are fearless and adventurous, the bravest little boy I've ever met. Your curiosity and desire to see, learn, and know all you can will take you so far in life. Even when you frustrate me, you amaze me, little man. There has never been another little boy quite like you.
And I thank my lucky stars that you're mine. Happy birthday, my sweet prince.
May you have many, many more before you.
Love,
Mama