Monday, September 10, 2007

Sometimes I suck at life

and parenting in particular. Mr. Mature has six, count 'em 6, cavities. I have brushed his teeth and taken him to the dentist since he was an infant. He has always gone with me when I've had to go to the dentist. He loves it there. He loves brushing his teeth, and I've never had to fight him to do it. So imagine my horror when, today, the dentist informed me that my kid had so many cavities, and one so bad that it requires a root canal and a fucking crown, that she didn't feel she could treat him in the office. Instead, she feels he needs to have all his dental work done at once. In the hospital. Under sedation. Yeah. She wants to put my kid to sleep to fix his rotting teeth. And all for the low, low price of $3k.
I feel like an utter failure. He's only 4. I don't understand how this happened. Well, that's not entirely true. I know how it happened. He has my horrid teeth. They are very close together and difficult to clean in the back. Any guesses where the cavities are? Yep, you guessed it, in between his teeth and in the back. Which is exactly where all of my issues have always been with my teeth. My parents didn't take me to the dentist when I was a kid, except for when I broke my front teeth out while being an idiot. The result? I had completely rotten molars and an abcess when I finally went to the dentist at 13. I had to have four root canals, two crowns, and what seemed like a hundred fillings. I lived in the dentist's office for months and probably paid for his vacation home in the Bahamas AND his kid's college tuition with the work he put into my mouth. As he was repairing my teeth, the dentist lamented not only the condition of my teeth, but their make-up as well. My teeth suck. They are too close together in the back and the enamel is weak. He called them 'pithy' because they are soft and porous. And this festering cesspool of a dental nightmare is what I passed on to my son. Awesome.

8 comments:

Letizzia said...

Are you sure about the dentist?
Would you try another one?
If the other would tell you "well, 5 teeth just need to be cleaned deeply and 1 needs treatment and I can make it in the office"?
I know you trust your dentist... Everybody does! but when something sounds so so strange, why wouldn't you go ask to another???
My mom felt guilty too the first time I had to go to the dentist... but, you know, this things happen to childer... I never liked to brush my teeth :D

The Lady in Red said...

Yep. This was the second dentist. The first dentist told me he had 3 cavities and just needed fillings. When I took him in to have the fillings done, he freaked out and tried to roll off of the chair while she was giving him the novacaine to numb his mouth. So she referred us to a pediatric dental specialist. That's who we saw today.

Letizzia said...

See?
So, are you going to hear the opinion of a third dentist?
I know it has nothing to do with your story, but I remember when I was I child I had a quarrell with a dentist.
He was a bastard and still is. He is my uncle's bestfriend's brother and he knows me since i was born.
So, I was a child and he was a young stupid dentist, so unsure of himself that he was freaking nervous and he wanted to make me an injection. And I cried as I saw the syringe I cried.
He went MAD, began to cry to my mother something incredible, like "take your fucking spoiled child away!!!".
My mom cried.
I kept on crying till night.
Don't you think the relationship between a child and a dentist should be different?
I'm just telling you this to say that's normal to have problems with dentist themselves :D
Well, I met this man yesterday and still hate him. Now he caused damages to every friend of us he cured. And I'm happy he's now known as an unskilled...
just venting about dentists...
Let me know what you'll do :)

Michelle said...

When I was a kid, my mother had our teeth coated with plastic.

On the surfaces of the molars, they actually applied a layer of plastic, so that way decay just can't happen.

I don't know if they still do this, but I have never had a cavity. Although every single dentist I have had as an adult have looked at my teeth and said "What IS this on your teeth?"

You can't see it, unless you are actually looking in my mouth with a dental mirror because it is on the chewing surfaces of the teeth, but I am sure that it saved me from a lot of problems.

The Lady in Red said...

It's called dental sealing, and they still do it, but I don't think it's visible anymore. His cavities are between his teeth, not on the chewing surfaces. I think what really bothered me was that the dentist said we should have been flossing his teeth and if we had been, he wouldn't have the cavities. I floss my own teeth, but have only done his a few times because they are so short I inevitably hit his gums, make him bleed and he cries. Cuz I rock like that!

Michelle said...

Don't feel bad, I don't even floss my own teeth. My dentist told me some folks just have good teeth and some have bad. He said by the time you get to your 20's, what you've got is what you've got, and they will change very little.

Tooth health has a lot to do with things that aren't even related to brushing and flossing. Things like genetics and nutrition can have a lot more to do with it.

The Lady in Red said...

And, see, that's what worries me. He doesn't get a ton of calcium because of his food allergies. WHen I tried to discuss that with the dentist, she brushed it off as unimportant and focused on the lack of flossing (making it my fault.) Not like it matters, because he already has the damn holes in his teeth, but I feel better having hashed it out with you! Thanks Spanky!

KlevaBich said...

I'm late to the party, but your dentist sounds like an asshole. I can't stand the type of dentist who gets all condescending and makes everything your fault. Besides, what four year old flosses, for cryin' out loud? And his lack of calcium is DEFINITELY a concern.

Here's another question: Why a root canal? Hello, they're baby teeth, they're going to fall out in a few years. And if they are that close together, he'll be just fine if they pull that one.

Gah. These are dentists that give them ALL a bad name.