Hi. It's me. I hate you. I'm not sad you're gone. You made my intestinal life a living hell for the better part of two years and, for that, I celebrate your demise. You tried to ruin Christmas, but I held you off. I thought you were going to win there for a minute, but I am stubborn and you, well, you were just a pissy little pear shaped organ. No match for the surgeon's blade were you. Mwahahahaha. I will gleefully display your little granuals of hate now that you've been ripped out and done away with. Good bye my nemesis. I will eat pizza and enjoy it in your absence.
Sincerely,
Me
PS: Surgery and liquid stitches suck, but they are well worth it to be rid of you!
Thanksgiving Letter to the Family
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Dear Family, Once again, we will gather for turkey and all the trimmings
this Thanksgiving. Trump remains a pain in my rump, but I have decided to
rise ab...
5 months ago
7 comments:
I STILL can't believe they didn't let you keep it. I mean it is YOUR Gall Bladder afterall, right?
Did you sign a waiver saying they could keep it? I think you've been robbed.
Grace beat me to it- I was going to ask if you got to keep it. I wondered what you would name it. Would you buy it a leash and take it out for walks with fresh air and sunshine?
Nah, you'd me more likely to hit it out of the park with a baseball bat. Now THAT would be satisfying!
Enjoy your pizza!!!!
I could have kept it, but it was a ton of paperwork and would have required basically signing my life away for them to release the 'biohazardous material' to me. Instead, I opted for a picture of my gb while it was still attached and to collect the stones at my post-op appointment. I'll take pictures of them when I get them!
That's a lovely visual, you smacking that puppy over the fence with a baseball bat. Yikes! Splat!
I'm so glad you're through this and don't have to dread it anymore. Do post photos of the stones once you get them, won't you?
I can scan the picture they gave me of the offensive organ and post that with the picture of the stones, if you'd like, Kleva. :)
Glad the GB beast got the heave-ho! Rat bastard pear shaped thing. Hope your boo boos heal up quick!
No, you won't be sorry it's gone! Here's to eating pizza and any other greasy food your heart desires!!
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