Doodads and Dicks

My kids are on one HELL of a roll. Let me explain and expound:

My affinity for the word douchebag is well documented. I use it aaaaaaaaaaaaaall the time. When someone cuts me off in traffic, does something completely tarded, or just generally annoys me, that's what flies out of my mouth. My love for that word is second only to my love of the f-bomb-which I don't use as frequently in real life because of the boys. I generally try to edit myself around them anyway, but in the car, sometimes things happen. So today, we're driving to the grocery store. It's just me and Oscar running down the road for a quick trip. Some troll cuts me off, and I honk. I didn't say anything, but swerved to avoid an accident. What do I hear from the back seat? My sweet little boy yelling "Nooooooooooooooooo! Doodad! Noooooooooo!" And I looked in the rearview to see him pointing his finger out the window and scrunching up his face as he shook his angry little fist at the offending 'doodad'. I will now sit quietly and await my appointment as mother of the year for teaching my kid how to say douchebag before he can say his own name.

Pt. 2 of my parenting greatness:
Victor has been having a terrible time in school with all things involving writing. He hates it. He hates any activity that requires him to hold a pencil or a crayon, because it means he can't hold a toy or a ball or run around and be his crazy self. So it's been a struggle to get him to do his homework. The only reading his teacher gives him is reading, but I know my son, and I know he needs more. So we do handwriting, math, phonics, and a couple of other kinds of homework every day. Today went pretty well. Victor was feeling SO good about himself and his homework because he got his pattern activity done quickly and without whining. Then I taught him how to draw a five-point star. He thought that was THE coolest thing ever and proceeded to draw them all over everything. And then, to show me his appreciation, he drew me a picture. Now, given that he HATES drawing and writing, this is a HUGE deal! Right? Right. So when he presented me with his lovingly crafted drawing, I HAD to make sure he knew how much I loved it and him, and that the drawing was beautiful. But, I'm a dick.
I couldn't not laugh. So I laughed, and clapped, and told him how great it was. And then, because I couldn't STOP laughing, I grabbed him and hugged him extra tight and extra long. So now, it's official. I'm a dick.